Breaking Generational Patterns: How RLT Helps Heal Family Dynamics
Family relationships can be some of the most rewarding—and the most challenging—connections we experience. Many of us carry patterns and behaviors learned from our families of origin, often without even realizing it. These generational patterns, whether they involve communication styles, coping mechanisms, or responses to conflict, can have a profound impact on our relationships as adults.
At Holland Counseling Group, we understand how deeply ingrained these patterns can be. Through Relational Life Therapy (RLT), we help individuals and families recognize and break free from unhealthy dynamics, creating a healthier and more intentional way of relating to one another.
What Are Generational Patterns?
Generational patterns refer to behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes that are passed down through families. These patterns can be positive, such as traditions of kindness and generosity, or they can be harmful, including tendencies toward conflict avoidance, unhealthy communication, or difficulty with vulnerability.
Often, these patterns are learned behaviors—ways of coping or interacting that we absorb from our parents and caregivers. As children, we may not recognize these behaviors as problematic because they are simply “the way things are.” It is only when we enter into our own adult relationships that these patterns can start to create friction.
How Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Addresses Generational Patterns
One of the core principles of RLT is the idea of relational mindfulness—becoming aware of how we show up in our relationships and why. This awareness is a critical first step in breaking generational patterns. In therapy, we explore questions like:
Where did I learn this behavior?
How does this pattern impact my relationships today?
What new, healthier behaviors can I practice moving forward?
RLT emphasizes accountability and personal growth. Instead of falling into cycles of blame or defensiveness, therapy offers tools to understand our own behaviors and make conscious choices about how we relate to others.
Examples of Generational Patterns That RLT Can Help Address
Conflict Avoidance: If you grew up in a household where conflict was discouraged or mishandled, you might find it difficult to express your needs openly. RLT can help you develop healthier ways to navigate disagreements and advocate for yourself.
Caretaking and Overfunctioning: Many of us learn to take on the emotional or practical burdens of others, often at the expense of our own well-being. Therapy can support you in setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care without guilt.
Communication Styles: Whether it’s shutting down during difficult conversations or using criticism as a defense mechanism, RLT offers tools for more effective and compassionate communication.
Emotional Suppression: If showing emotion was considered a sign of weakness in your family, you may struggle with vulnerability. RLT encourages emotional expression in a safe and supportive environment, helping you build deeper connections.
How Breaking Generational Patterns Improves Family Dynamics
When individuals and families work to break these patterns, the impact can be transformative. Parents can model healthier behaviors for their children, creating a ripple effect of positive change. Couples can develop a deeper understanding of each other, leading to more meaningful and satisfying relationships. Extended families can move beyond old conflicts and create a more supportive and nurturing environment.
Taking the First Step Towards Healing
If you recognize generational patterns that are holding you back, you are not alone—and change is possible. At Holland Counseling Group, we provide a compassionate space to explore these patterns and develop healthier ways of relating. Whether you are seeking individual therapy, couples counseling, or family support, we are here to guide you on the path to healing.
Book a Consultation Today
Taking the first step towards counseling can feel daunting, but it is also a powerful act of love for yourself and your family. To learn more or schedule a consultation, please visit our website or contact us directly. Together, we can help you break free from the past and build a healthier, more connected future.
